a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize