I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
