How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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