I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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