yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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