Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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