Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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