Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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