He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
