summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
