His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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