I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Your cock deserves a montage
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
