two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
