She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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