i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
