If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
