Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
