This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
