It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
