Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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