i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
