so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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