After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
