come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
