I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
