I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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