im drinking this country out of the recession.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Everyone says I win the strip club
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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