She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
