The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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