i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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