dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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