I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
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he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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