Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you will always have a special place in my vag
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
