After last night, I could never be a politician.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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