You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
