walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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