everyone is single if you try hard enough
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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