You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
