Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize