oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
