in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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