Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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