WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
