I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
