apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
