oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
