You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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