I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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