oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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