No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
