You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
