Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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