Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
