Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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