In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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