i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
