I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
