Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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