if only i could text you this smell
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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