I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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