do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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